Being alone doesn’t make you lonely

Happy Valentines Day Aspirers,

Today some of you might be celebrating with your special loved ones either today or maybe later on in the week because it’s hard to stay up past 10:00 pm on a weekday. For myself, I will be spinning time with the one person that means the most to me which is MYSELF. I have no problem with that but for others like myself, some of your friends and family might wonder why are you spending the 6th, 7th, 8th year (who’s really counting anyway) alone on Valentine’s Day. A lot of questions might be asked and the big question on people’s minds  is “Are you lonely?”

Guess what that’s a great question. Anyone can be lonely. You could be in a committed relationship, married, or have kids and still feel lonely. The presence of someone else might not define the well-being of your mental state. You can be around someone every day but something feels like something is missing. There are people out in the world that never experienced being alone and still have unanswered questions about themselves because they’ve constantly been around people for so long they haven’t found confidence in their own skin.

For the longest, I was terrified to eat alone because I thought I would be judged of not having anyone to eat or laugh with at the table. I was so uncomfortable being seen by myself. It sounds weird saying that out loud but it was true. I just went to the movies alone for the first time last year and guess what it was AWESOME! I love being alone at home but enjoy my own company in public is on a whole other level. I even walk away from my girls when we are out to use the restroom by myself. Ladies don’t act like you all don’t go to the bathroom in groups especially the college ladies that are reading this right now.

It’s okay to have anxiety but the only way to get over something is to try it. If there’s a new movie out, a new restaurant to try, a new store in the mall that just opened up I can’t wait for other people to make room in their schedule sometimes. I have to enjoy it first and tell them about it later. Being able to find joy in your own company makes it easier to find joy while with others. We have to be honest with ourselves sometimes it’s not the other person that is causing the problem because we might be the problem. Don’t expect others to bring joy into your life if you can’t enjoy yourself.

Ask yourself this question, are you lonely?

Sincerely, Courtney Renee

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Single On Valentine’s Day Ideas

Don’t let Valentine’s Day be the day you sit around and become bored because you’re single. Valentine’s Day is about love so why not treat yourself and show yourself how much you love yourself and maybe others too. 

Here are some single Valentine’s Day ideas: 

  1. Go to the movies.  
  2. Have and dinner and a movie night at your place. Create a menu and pop in a RedBox movie. I love a good horror movie. 
  3. Head to the spa. You’ve had a rough day or year so why not get pampered. 
  4. Go to the park and have a panic and read your favorite book.
  5. Hang out with other single friends and have fun like you normally would if it wasn’t Valentine’s Day. 
  6. Take a day trip some where. I love a good museum. 
  7. Spend time with family. That’s where you’ll find unconditional love. 
  8. Go the a pet store and play with some puppies. Animals doesn’t know what day it is. All they want is love and playtime. 
  9. Buy yourself a gift because you’ve  earned it!
  10. Go out and hit the town. Don’t stay home and waste your night away! Let the world know you look GOOD! 

These are just a few ideas but if you have more feel free to share in the comment section below. 

Sincerely, Courtney Renee 

Loveless Series: In Love with “Love”

Hello Aspireres!

Here’s a new blog series I’ve started up called the “Loveless Series” every Wednesday. What a better way to talk about love then on hump day? Each week there will be different topics based off of what a lot of us have or is currently going through. I’m putting my experiences and feelings onto these pages.  I’m making myself vulnerable because these are questions I’ve asked myself and I bet you or someone you know have too. What I want everyone to get out of this series is a better understanding of themselves and what they want from a relationship. Before you say anything like “hold up is Courtney Renee even in a relationship?”. I never said I was but the things I’ve learned from my pass keeps me going on what my future will bring. I figured out not to settle just because I was lonely. You want to compliment each other not discourage each other. We are constantly asking questions either to ourselves, to someone else, or to God (if you’re religious). Also in the series as you read there will be questions for you to take a second and reflect on yourself. I hope you enjoy and welcome to the “Loveless Series”.

In Love with “Love”

Growing up I loved watching movies about weddings and love stories. I dreamed that one day that will be me. I just knew it. I even created a wedding book when I was 15 years old. In the book I drew and designed my wedding dress, how I wanted my hair, colors, bridesmaids, and flower girl dresses. I looked up how much my dream wedding ring will cost ($30,000 from Tiffany’s). I feel like I’m worth it! I even picked out my future husband’s ring because I knew who ever he was going to be he was going to be worth it. The only thing missing from my book was HIM. My book can’t be complete. As time passed and boyfriends came and went I realized I haven’t met the one or when I think I met the one something goes wrong. When it happened multiple times I started thinking is it me.

Q: Have you thought about that? You’re the common denominator of these relationships so what am I doing wrong? 

Years ago I told myself I wanted to be married, engaged, or in a series relationship by 25 well that came and went too. Around 22 something hit me and said “Courtney stop searching because all you’re doing is finding disappointment.” So I listened and stopped dating for a year to figure out what I wanted out of life and stopped comparing myself to others relationships. Relationships are hard and the people we are comparing ourselves to might not be perfect so we have to check ourselves. Before we can be right for someone else we have to right for ourselves.

Once the year was over and got back on the dating scene but like I said I didn’t go out looking if it happens it happens. Yes I want to get married but I’m not the type to say if I’m in a relationship for a year I’m expecting a ring for our anniversary. We have no idea where we’re going to be in a year. So how do you expect your other half to know they are really ready to put a ring on your finger in a year? For some love happens at first sight  but for others it might take a little longer. One thing I’ve learned from that year of being by myself is growth and wanting to grow with someone. If that person isn’t willing to grow with you things shift in a relationship. From being by ourselves we’ll understand what we want to give to others based off what you want to get in return. It’s a give a take but try not to keep a tally.

Q: Do you give to get something in return? Are you always the one to be getting something verses giving? Are you always giving?

Just like the title of this post “In Love with “Love”” you have to be willing to give love to retrieve it and stop thinking of it as an idea and more like an action. For you to love “love” you have to love yourself.

Throughout your reading I hope you took the time and truly answered these questions. Share your answers below and don’t forget to like this post if you’re excited about “Loveless Series” every Wednesday and maybe throughout this series we’ll all find out more about ourselves and love will come our way.

Keep an eye out for next week’s topic “Opening My Heart for More”.

Sincerely, Courtney Renee