lonely

Being alone doesn’t make you lonely

Happy Valentines Day Aspirers,

Today some of you might be celebrating with your special loved ones either today or maybe later on in the week because it’s hard to stay up past 10:00 pm on a weekday. For myself, I will be spinning time with the one person that means the most to me which is MYSELF. I have no problem with that but for others like myself, some of your friends and family might wonder why are you spending the 6th, 7th, 8th year (who’s really counting anyway) alone on Valentine’s Day. A lot of questions might be asked and the big question on people’s minds  is “Are you lonely?”

Guess what that’s a great question. Anyone can be lonely. You could be in a committed relationship, married, or have kids and still feel lonely. The presence of someone else might not define the well-being of your mental state. You can be around someone every day but something feels like something is missing. There are people out in the world that never experienced being alone and still have unanswered questions about themselves because they’ve constantly been around people for so long they haven’t found confidence in their own skin.

For the longest, I was terrified to eat alone because I thought I would be judged of not having anyone to eat or laugh with at the table. I was so uncomfortable being seen by myself. It sounds weird saying that out loud but it was true. I just went to the movies alone for the first time last year and guess what it was AWESOME! I love being alone at home but enjoy my own company in public is on a whole other level. I even walk away from my girls when we are out to use the restroom by myself. Ladies don’t act like you all don’t go to the bathroom in groups especially the college ladies that are reading this right now.

It’s okay to have anxiety but the only way to get over something is to try it. If there’s a new movie out, a new restaurant to try, a new store in the mall that just opened up I can’t wait for other people to make room in their schedule sometimes. I have to enjoy it first and tell them about it later. Being able to find joy in your own company makes it easier to find joy while with others. We have to be honest with ourselves sometimes it’s not the other person that is causing the problem because we might be the problem. Don’t expect others to bring joy into your life if you can’t enjoy yourself.

Ask yourself this question, are you lonely?

Sincerely, Courtney Renee

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